Creating Calm and Joy: Navigating the Holidays With Young Children on the Autism Spectrum

The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year,” but for many families, especially those raising young children with autism, they can also feel overwhelming. Between bright lights, changing routines, big gatherings, and endless expectations, the season can bring extra stress for everyone in the household.

If your family feels stretched thin around the holidays, you’re not alone. Understanding the challenges (and learning how to ease them) can help bring more calm, connection, and joy to the season.

✨ Why the Holidays Can Be Extra Stressful
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1. Routines Get Interrupted
Children with autism often depend on predictable routines to feel safe and regulated.
During the holidays, routines can shift because of:

School breaks, Travel, Visitors, Special events, Changes in daily schedule

All of this can make children feel unsettle and that can be stressful for parents and siblings too.

2. Sensory Overload Is Everywhere

The holidays are full of sensory surprises: Flashing lights, Loud music, Crowded stores, New smells, Crinkly wrapping paper, usy family gatherings

For a child with sensory sensitivities, these can be uncomfortable or overwhelming.

3. Social Expectations Can Be Hard
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Holiday parties, family meals, and group activities may feel difficult for children who struggle with: Social communication, , Being around unfamiliar people, Loud or unpredictable environment, Being touched or hugged without warning

Parents often feel pressure to attend events or “keep the peace,” which adds to stress.

4. Family Members May Not Always Understand

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Extended family may have different expectations or less familiarity with a child’s needs.
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This can lead to: Unwanted advice, Misunderstanding a child’s behavior, Tension about boundaries or routines, Pressure to “just try” new activities

Even when relatives mean well, these moments can leave parents feeling drained.

5. Parents and Siblings Also Feel the Ripple Effect
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Supporting a child with autism through sensory overload, routine changes, or emotional stress can take a lot of energy.
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Siblings may notice the tension or feel like plans revolve around managing behaviors.
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Parents might feel: Guilty, Tired, Lonely, Pressured, Anxious about meltdowns in public

Holiday stress becomes a shared experience for the whole family.

🌟 Ways to Make the Holidays More Manageable

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1. Keep Key Parts of Your Routine
Try to keep bedtime, mealtimes, and calming rituals as predictable as possible.

2. Prepare With Visual Supports
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Use simple tools like: Picture schedules, Countdown calendars, Social stories about gatherings or travel, “First–then” prompts

These help children know what to expect.

3. Create a Sensory-Friendly Safe Space
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Set up a quiet break area, at home or when visiting relatives, with: Headphones, Fidget toys, Weighted blankets, Books, Comfort items

This gives your child a safe place to regulate when things get too overwhelming.

4. Choose Events That Fit Your Family
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It’s okay to: Leave early, Skip certain gatherings, Say no to activities, Celebrate in your own way

Your family’s comfort comes first.

5. Prepare Others Ahead of Time
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If you visit relatives or host guests, share helpful tips: Your child’s sensory needs, How they communicate, Their triggers, What to expect if they become overwhelmed, How your family supports them

Most people want to help, they just need guidance.

6. Take Care of Yourself Too
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Parents and siblings need support, connection, and comfort.
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Simple things help: Short breaks, Tag-team caregiving, Going for a walk, Asking for help, Letting go of perfection

When you feel grounded, the whole family feels it.

❤️ Holiday Stress Is Real, But So Is Holiday Joy

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The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. What matters most is creating a season that feels safe, manageable, and joyful for your whole family.

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By honoring your child’s needs, and your own, you’re building holiday traditions filled with love, understanding, and connection. And that’s what truly makes this time of year special.

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