Helping Young Children With Autism Express Affection in Their Own Way

February is often filled with messages about love and affection. For parents of children with autism, this can sometimes bring up questions or concerns. Why doesn’t my child hug? Why don’t they say “I love you”?

The truth is, affection looks different for every child, and that’s okay.

Affection Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Young children with autism may show connection in ways that aren’t always recognized as affection. This might include:

• Sitting near a caregiver
• Bringing a favorite toy
• Smiling or making eye contact
• Following a parent from room to room

These are meaningful expressions of connection.

Sensory Preferences Play a Role

Some children avoid hugs or physical touch due to sensory sensitivities—not lack of love. Respecting these boundaries helps children feel safe and builds trust.

Affection can be:

• A shared activity
• A smile or laugh
• A high-five or fist bump
• Time spent together

How ABA Therapy Supports Social Connection

ABA therapy helps children build social and communication skills in ways that feel comfortable for them. Therapists may work on:

• Joint attention
• Responding to social cues
• Imitation and play skills
• Communicating preferences

The goal isn’t to force affection, but to support meaningful connection.

Supporting Affection at Home

Parents can:

• Accept and celebrate their child’s unique expressions
• Model affection in low-pressure ways
• Follow the child’s lead
• Avoid comparisons

Connection grows when children feel understood.

Love Looks Different and That’s Beautiful

There is no “right” way for a child to show love. When families honor their child’s individual ways of connecting, relationships grow stronger.

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